The World Won't Wait

Life is hard.

It knocks you down and it stomps on you until you can barely recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror. It threatens to take everything you have and most of the time it feels as if you'll never overcome it. It's incredibly difficult to recover from those moments. The important thing, the most crucial in fact, is that no matter how hard your life gets, you pick yourself back up and you keep moving because the world certainly isn't going to wait for us.

My nights have been filled with dark thoughts and more tears than I thought I was even capable of producing. I scared myself and for the first time, I sought help. However, I was met with blatant disregard and selfishness. I allowed myself to be plagued by the vicious thoughts and, eventually, I fell victim to it. I let myself believe that self-harm was the only form of control I had. I also found myself letting people back into my life that I was better off without. I was opening the door to destruction because I think I had forgotten somewhere along the line that I am fully capable of healing and moving forward.

I can't explain my actions. Partly because I don't understand them myself, but also because I don't want to. I made mistakes and I stumbled a bit, but everyone does. I can't let myself feel shame for something that doesn't warrant it by "admitting." It happened and now it's time to move forward.

I have to take this experience and use it. I can't simply forget it. What good would that do me? No, I have to use this as a building block. I have to grow from this, become stronger for having gone through it, rather than feel helpless for having a moment of weakness.

The road ahead is long and no doubt has its fair share of bumps, but I'm ready. I look forward to facing the challenge. And I'd just like to say that, no matter what you're going through, you are not alone. Even if you can't see it, there are people who love and care about you, who want to help, so please allow them to opportunity to do so.

Keep fighting.