Jealousy

Jealousy sucks. It's a fact.

I used to think that I was not jealous of anything nor would I ever be, but I was wrong. SO WRONG! As I grew up I realized that I am jealous of a lot. Although it didn't truly hit me until I was in my first relationship. 

My boyfriend at the time was one of the most popular guys in school and a major player on the school's football team, which in a small town like mine is an even bigger deal than normal. I was so proud to be with him, especially since I was a freshman and he was a junior. I thought that I was the bomb. Anyway, everyone wanted to be around him and I felt like I had to fight for his attention. So when he would pay more attention to his friends I got really jealous and clingy. Not attractive! I look back on it now and I remember trying to pull him away from his friends or making a big thing of PDA (which I'm so not a fan of). I became all of the things I thought were ridiculous when I saw other people doing them because I couldn't admit to myself, much less him, that I was jealous. He once asked me straight up if I was jealous and I got mad at him because I figured he was just assuming things about me. He was right, I was, but how do you knock your pride down enough to admit that, especially at the tender age of 15? I ended up breaking up with him after about a month over Facebook ( I'm a bitch for it, I know) because my friends were jealous of what I had with him and convinced me that he was flirting with other girls which led to me being ( any guesses?) jealous.

So the whole point of that long winded, poorly told story is that even if you don't think you're jealous of anything, you probably are. Don't be a jerk about it, just work on admitting it to yourself. After that work on improving yourself and dealing with your jealousy in a better manner than I did. 

In the long run, if you can't admit to it and work on it, it'll probably end up hurting some aspect of your life. And to risk damage like that over something so simple and easy to work through is ridiculous.

So that was poorly written, but I don't really care because like it or not, this is me.